How-to Host an Exchange Student

     When I was in high school I had the incredible opportunity of hosting a foreign exchange student. In fact referring to Yui as merely a"foreign exchange student" sounds quite strange because she was so much more than that- she became a sister to me. Hosting a foreign exchange student is not for every family, but if you have the chance to, then there are many things that you and your family can do to prepare for hosting someone from another culture.

     For instance, it is important to do the following to prepare:

• Ask your host student about their house rules and lifestyle. Tell them about your family's rules and lifestyle. Discuss the similarities and differences. Make sure expectations are clear and that you have a system in place for the event that complications arise.
• Learn something about your host student's country/city before they arrive. Read books and articles online about their culture. Ask them questions! Remember that you are able to learn from them just as much as they are from you.
• Go over what your goals are for the exchange semester/year. List out how you can ensure you meet those goals.
• Provide a safe space to ask questions and talk through ideas. If difficult situations come up make sure to set a outline for how to approach problems.
• Include host student in all family activities and go above and beyond to make sure they feel like part of the family.

     Looking back I desperately wish someone had prepared us for being culturally sensitive and culturally aware. Without getting into too much detail, essentially we had rescued Yui from another household in which she had not been comfortable or happy at. Although we did provide Yui with a much stronger sense of family and fantastic host experience, it was not as if we did not have our fair share of problems. There were many factors that had a powerful impact on our family dynamic. For instance, the basic manner in which we spoke to one another was very different. In Japanese culture and in her family specifically, Yui was not used to saying "I love you" to her parents or to her siblings. While on the other hand, my family said that phrase to one another multiple times throughout the day. Over the course of the eight months that she was with us, Yui began feeling more comfortable with the phrase and by the end of her stay was saying "I love you" to us. In fact when she arrived home to Japan after a year abroad her parents greeted her at the airport with only a  handshake and Yui was actually very upset that they did not hug her or say how much they loved her. This was just one example in which demonstrated through our shared experience how we learned from one another's culture.

     One of the greatest lessons I learned from Yui, in addition to understanding that my beliefs and ideologies were no greater than my Japanese sisters', was that love can be communicated differently from culture to culture, and that although the medium in which love can be communicated may be different, that it is to it's core a shared human experience, and one that binds us all together. Learning about intercultural communication techniques enables you to better interact and engage with people from varying backgrounds, which is an essential set of skills to have when hosting an exchange student. When this happens you are able to not only learn about someone else's culture, but in turn help to learn so much more about yourself.